‘Crime Scene’ Cleanup

I don’t know how I get into these situations. Regardless of the why’s, here’s the how…

We have a pantry that I couldn’t walk into, and it was driving me insane! So, a little early spring cleaning was added to my to-do list, and because I’m so particular it took me all day, practically. It’s not the biggest ‘closet’ but it has four L-shaped shelves. Put it this way: two people can walk into the closet with no elbow room.

I pretty much took anything on the floor and tossed it out of the closet just to get started–creating an awfully big mess to begin with. What? This is how I clean! Anything expired went next, anything opened went too.

Once I’d cleared the closet, it looked like a tornado literally ran through our kitchen. Because I’m self-coined as, ‘Queen of Recycle’ I had to make sure that all opened food and recycled the cans. This is where everything went wrong.


I can’t even justify this. I threw a small garbage bag on the counter and began opening the cans. I don’t know why, but I turned my back for a second, and like a curious two-year-old, the bag of movie-prop-vomit dove off the counter. That’s right. Ravioli, soup, and tomato paste splashed everywhere!

It was a crime scene! I had a picture to share with you but my phone decided to die! (This is my luck!) I still have no idea why! Just one day, it simply shut off and would not turn on again. As previously stated, I have a major problem with backing up.

I’ll do my best to paint you a picture of the event. Multiple cans are scattered on the counter beside a now mostly empty garbage bag. And we have white cupboards, that are now covered in red goo. The mixture splashed onto the oven, narrowly missing the fridge. It even splashed up at such an angle that it went inside the doors. I don’t know if I could do that again if I tried.

I broke out into laughter when I found the mess.

What else could I do?

You always think, ‘I should have seen that coming’ afterwards, but before each incident, I am completely unaware–in my own little writers’ world–that I am doing something completely not smart, that is inevitably going to end up with me cleaning, icing, or bandaging something.

Hey, the pantry turned out wonderful and I got a good story out of it. Can’t complain.

Note to self: think before doing… everything!

yours truly, 

A Clumsy Writer


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