Can’t Take Me Anywhere

After an early Black Friday shopping spree, my friends and I decided it would be nice to go for dinner at Swiss Chalet, to sit and relax our tired, aching feet.

This shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s just food, right? Everyone has to eat.

Well, as someone who is constantly dribbling on her top, I can honestly say that each meal is an adventure. It’s not like I have a problem opening my mouth; I could talk for hours if someone would listen. So, why the constant dribbling?

Maybe I was a basketball player in a previous life. (Okay, bad joke.)

Seriously, though, I’ve ruined more tops that I can count due to falling food. Greasy food is murder.

Why not wear a bib, you might say.

Why not? That would be the sensible thing, wouldn’t it? It would be like playing dress-up. People used to dress up for their meals all the time. An extremely long time ago. But I don’t, because despite being a clumsy eater my entire life I do not carry bibs around with me. I don’t even carry an extra shirt. With this post I’m realizing that my whole life is backward.

need to at least carry an extra shirt with me at all times.

Back to the meal at hand. We’d gotten an appetizer to share and it was delicious. Our server was great, and the food came quickly.

I did manage to drop spinach dip down my shirt, but I didn’t care very much because I was starving from the day’s activities.

After our meal is when the real fun began. We were ready to leave and climbing out of the booth. That is when I decided to move a coffee cup out of the way. People should never leave full coffee cops on their tables; it’s just asking for trouble. That’s all I’m saying.

As you would expect, the coffee cup spilled, with no help from me at all. (Okay, just a tiny bit.)

So, when I say that I am accident prone, it’s not just about bruising, or bumping into things. When I do something I go all out. What I mean, is that I didn’t just spill the coffee and clean it up and that was it.

No, the cup was so full that it spilled over the side and into the booth and all over my friends’ coats. I may dribble on my own clothing, but that doesn’t mean that you’re safe if you’re eating with me.

Luckily for me, my friends have come to expect such things from me and we shared a laugh and everyone got their coats washed.

The end.

Note to self: make bibs a thing again…

yours truly,

A Clumsy Writer


2 thoughts on “Can’t Take Me Anywhere”

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