I’ve been mentally going over my list of scars to share for this post. (There are too many to choose from)
“She’s so dumb she got hit by a parked car!”
Have you ever heard this joke? It wasn’t exactly written about me, though unfortunately, I can certainly fit into the stereotype on at least two occasions; the first happened about twenty years ago. A bunch of us pre-teens decided to play baseball in my friend’s backyard.
That doesn’t sound too scary, right?
Well, it might if your friend lives in a townhouse next to an arena and his ‘backyard’ is a parking lot.
During set-up, we improvised, using an old car for second base. I can’t remember first or third bad, but second? We were well acquainted that day.
I believe I was already on first base when bat and ball loudly kissed and I made my move. I was not the fastest runner, though I was certainly good enough to generate a decent amount of speed.
Enough speed to knee second base! I don’t know if they still make the tiny metal emblems they used to stick to the hood, but I will always remember them.
Mostly because I still have a partial Chrysler imprint on my knee.
Oh, good times.
The second, although much more recent, completely done by accident, is more of an act of carelessness and lack of depth perception, I think.
One squelching day this summer, I had to take my cat to the vet and had a friend drive me. When we finally got back, I was in a rush to barricade myself inside to bask in the central air.
I got out of the car, cat carrier in my right hand, and went to say something to my friend, the driver. Once I said whatever it was I needed to say, I attempted to close the door with my left hand.
I feel like you can see where this is going.
I smacked myself in the head with the car door, and none too gently. A bruise appeared that night, as a reminder of my stupidity and taunted me for the next few days.
My brother pointed out that I’ve been hit by a parked car twice now. I maintain that I hit the first one. There is no excuse as to the second.
Note to self: patience means less bruising.
A Clumsy Writer